Hats off to River Island

A few blogs back I complained about River Island’s panda beanies.

Not about the beanies themselves, but that they’ve been producing the very same ones for the past three years. Yawwwn. Ears on beanies are such old news. I wanted to see something new and exciting (but possibly still involving ears).

I’ve never really been a fan of River Island. The clothes seem designed to look much cheaper than they actually are. Inverse of the ideal fashion situation. Too shiny. Too metallic. Far too much going on in terms of metal studs. But yesterday I was walking past anyway (had been in Topshop visiting the unicorn shorts that will be mine very shortly), and I decided to check up on that hat situation.

Well, OMG. It’s like they read my mind and put together an autumn/winter collection specifically designed to take all my money from me.

Hat wise, there’s a lot going on. I fell a little bit head-over-Uggs for this furry number. Trying it on, it felt more like a fox disguise than a mere winter accessory. 

I still kind of want it, but I made the very grown-up decision to diversify my wardrobe with this hat which allows you to pretend you are a strawberry. A fun healthy message all at once. 

So, strawberry beanie in hand, I moved to the bags and could not resist this little pup. He’s a great size for that ‘key, money, phone, oyster card’ combo. He has a delicate gold chain, perfect for the festive party season. And – most importantly – he’s a dog. 

Clothing wise, every animal enthusiast’s desires are catered for with prints incorporating raccoons, foxes, cats (I did predict that trio being on-trend), rabbits and ponies. To show my appreciation I got a vest featuring a rabbit.

But I’m so sad that my finances could stretch no further, because before leaving the shop I caught sight of an absolute wonder. What's cooler than a retro, over-the-shoulder mini suitcase? A retro, over-the-shoulder mini suitcase covered in an entire troupe of squirrels. The bad news is that River Island want me to pay them £50 for it, and I don’t think that I can do that right now. But, Santa, if you happen to read my blog (and you really should encourage the elves to subscribe for present-making inspiration), I’d like to point you in the direction of River Island Oxford Street, straight through the sale racks, past the hats, turn slightly left at the purses. Animal sophistication awaits.